The ending of a relationship is challenging financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. People often experience feelings of self-doubt, lack of confidence in their own judgment and decision-making, inability to concentrate and depression. Reliable, competent information brings structure to the chaos of the unwinding process and assists in framing a plan for rebuilding life.

Put Your Papers In Order

Gather copies of bank and investment account statements, retirement statements, tax returns, insurance policies, salary and benefit program booklets, loan statements, credit card statements, cancelled checks and vehicle titles. Keep your copies in a safe, secure location.

Banking/Credit/Spending

Open an individual bank account, ideally before separation. Accumulate sufficient funds for 3-4 months living expenses and divorce-related expenses (attorney’s fees, accountant’s fees, etc). Take into account funds needed for new furniture and household goods to establish a separate residence. Consider a separate safe deposit box for your papers.

Maintain good credit – paying your debts regularly. Establish individual credit – major credit cards and possibly a personal line of credit. Limit accumulation of additional individual debt, if possible. Keep receipts of all your expenses, especially those for children. While still living together, save receipts of similar expenses to document life style. Do not overspend to inflate living costs for court proceedings.

Inventory Your Property

Make a list of the contents of your home and any other real estate. Include make, model and serial numbers for electronic and computer equipment. Don’t forget tools and equipment in garages, outbuildings and sheds. Take pictures (or video) of your home, room by room – include firearms, individual antiques, collections and other valuables. Make sure your car is in good working order and available to you.

When considering possible property divisions, give thought to the liquidity of assets (sale costs, time required to sell, restrictions on conversions to cash, supply, demand, interest rates and condition), cash flow (money needed to maintain an asset, income produced by an asset, time value of money), and risk (potential e growth of an asset and whether it’s value fluctuates). Weigh the need for assets useful today (home, car, cash accounts, etc)., against the need for funds later (long term savings, retirement, etc). Consider consulting a financial planner to develop a long range financial plan. Some resources are available over the internet, such as the personal financial planner which is a free download from www.finplan.com/tools/toolmenu.

Maintain Current Arrangements :
Employment, Child Care, etc.

Now is not the time to make major decisions. Keep your job. Keep your children in the same day care and school, if possible. Postpone changing jobs, buying a new home, relocating, etc. Don’t move out of your marital home without discussing it with an attorney first. Many changes are occurring rapidly; allow time – plan for an orderly transition to a new routine and life.

Maintain Emotional Balance

Get support systems in place – separation and divorce are a test of emotional endurance. Talk to your spouse – try to maintain open lines of communication. Many cases are settled by the parties among themselves. Talk to your children – reassure them, give simple answers that blame no one. Take care of yourself. Have needed medical and dental examinations and receive any care recommended.